The Group Chat: The Super Bowl LXI halftime performer is…

It’s been almost exactly a year since Bad Bunny was revealed to be the Super Bowl LX halftime show headliner to the joy of todas las mujeres and utter rage of racists everywhere. We’re no icky prediction market, but we’re pretty sure the 2027 performer will be made public any day now.

• We want Jay-Z to know which artists we’d love to see on stage, so we compiled this Super Bowl LXI halftime show wishlist, ranging from completely realistic to deeply delusional. And yes, it’s all women.

☀️ The obvious choice: It’s Billie Eilish, a proud daughter of LA and stadium touring icon, making her an excellent choice to headline at LA’s SoFi Stadium. Plus, it’s rumored that her fourth album is coming out in 2027. Some things just make sense.

💐 One millennial icon: She can buy herself flowers, but Miley Cyrus has yet to take the Super Bowl stage. We’re streaming “Bass Persuades” like it’s our job, but it’s Cyrus’ multi-decade catalog that puts her over the top — and we’re not above asking for a Hannah Montana cameo.

🤠 A country surprise: The last country artist to headline a Super Bowl? Shania Twain in 2003. And considering Ella Langley’s “Choosin’ Texas” is about to be the longest-running No. 1 atop the Billboard Hot 100, she’d be perfect for SB61. If we’re really lucky, Kacey Musgraves, and Mickey Guyton could join.

✨ This delulu combo: Hear us out — Olivia Rodrigo and Sabrina Carpenter. These two pop princesses have buried the hatchet and dominated the charts. Time to squash the beef on the biggest stage imaginable.

🍑 The generational booty movers: Stop shoveling buffalo chicken dip for one sec because it’s time to listen to Eve and shake that thang with Missy Elliott, Ciara, Ester Dean, Cardi B, and Megan Thee Stallion. Drop it, drop it low, ladies.

🗣️ A moment for the belters: If there’s any place to really go for it vocally, it’s in a football stadium in the middle of the day. Receiving an invitation to the belt party: Kelly Clarkson, RAYE, and Ariana Grande.

🎧 The best remix ever: DJ Earworm is allegedly a man, but “United States of Pop 2009 (Blame It on the Pop),” by far his most famous mashup with 56M YouTube views, features tons of women. A live performance from Fergie, Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, and Keri Hilson could heal the nation.

💭 Childhood legends: What do you get when you combine the always-important Keke Palmer with resurgent Hilary Duff and the comeback-curious Pussycat Dolls? Joy. Bottoms up, y’all.

💿 2000s movie soundtrack divas: What ever happened to the girl who sings “Miracles Happen” in The Princess Diaries? What about Mya from “Lady Marmalade” in Moulin Rouge? Is Pink Slip from Freaky Friday available for a one-time reunion? Lindsay Lohan, have your people call our people.